First Things First!!

Ok...

When this whole nightmare started back in March of 2010 I cried and cried and cried!! And that is ok! Next I leaned on the people I loved, who loved me and cried some more. The biggest lesson I learned through this was.. people who don't face divorce or this crisis don't have a clue as to what to do.. so 1)cut them some slack!! and 2)just tell them what you need!!

I found the hard way that the only thing I needed from my mom was to sit on the couch and let me vent and cry. I didn't need her advice (YET), I didn't need her to counsel me (YET!) I just needed her to stop and slow down for a minute and let me cry and let me be angry.. So if that is what you need TELL THEM!! Also if you don't know what you need... as alot of you will... then just say that.. "I DON'T KNOW!" and learn as you go.. if they start giving advice and it is putting a sour taste in your mouth.. then immediately tell them.. that is not working for you!!! But be loving and kind as well.. Again, if they have never been there, they don't know either!! Patience is a big lesson to be learned through all this.

Also what I did after I exhausted my close friends and family is I found someone objective! Through the grape vine I heard of an old family friend who had gone through this process... I decided to Facebook him and see if the rumors I heard were true!! (this is the LAST person on earth I would have expected to go through this!) Sure enough it was true and he was 3 yrs post D. So I asked if we could "talk"... little at the time did I realize his guidance and wisdom would be my anchor for the last several months and probably for years to come! He has been my rock!! And with his permission I will share some of the knowledge and wisdom he gave me. Now you may be asking yourself.. what is the importance of extending outside of my "family circle"? Well for me it did a couple of things: My family would always love and support me.. so I needed someone from the outside telling me I wasnt crazy, and also it gave me someone that I could share all the hurt and pain with, without getting my family involved. My family continue their love towards Keith was so important and I didn't wan them to know how much it was hurting me. Talking to D helped me release that without hurting those I needed here by my side!

So lets review: first cry and cry and cry if it what you want to do...
Then: lean on family and friends for support but be open and honest with your expectations.
Third: Try to find someone objective that will help you think clearly and allow for an outlet of courage! (you may even find that person to be me! Come on in!)

So what next right?? Well bare with me cuz I am only human and I am learning as we go too...

but I would say this.. Make a playlist... WHAT??? I hear you saying!! Yes... get on your computer and make a playlist! The radio will become depressing for a while and you don't need to cry everytime a sappy love song comes on.. So go ahead... make a hater list!! IM SERIOUS!! now if you don't know where to start I will hopefully this weekend get a playlist on here of a good beginning. Borrow it, tune in and listen..do what ever you have to do to avoid the pain of dumb radio for a bit! TRUST me especially if your "wedding song" is a popular one DONT ATTEMPT IT!!! I made the mistake a month or so ago to listen to lite 99.9 Dalila.. and she opened her program with "Making Memories of Us" (one guess as to what my wedding song was! :)) and WHAM!!! it was awful and painful and just down right a mess after that... ruined my whole evening from 7pm on!!!

Alright, I think that is enough for one night... can't over do it.. we will get to later steps and you will see why it is 9:30 and I need to go to bed!

Hope this helps you out and at least brought a sense of a smile to your face!

-KJ